Moms in Babeland

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October is National Family Sex Education Month

How do you talk to your kids about sex? What to say at what age? How much to divulge and when? What words to use? Join the discussion and get advice on Moms In Babeland in celebration of National Family Sex Education Month! During October you can:

•    Glean helpful “talking to your kids about sex” tips from SIECUS
•    Read our Mom Bloggers’ sex education anecdotes—from poignant to hilarious
•    Post a comment, anecdote, or question during October and enter a chance to win Babeland’s popular sex manual Moregasm*

Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS) is a non-profit dedicated to providing education and information about sexuality and sexual and reproductive health. Babeland customers helped raise $22,000 this summer to go toward SIECUS’ sex education work.

Moms in Babeland is edited by Anne Semans, a Babeland mom and co-author of Sexy Mamas: Keeping Your Sex Life Alive While Raising Kids.

* Moregasm winner drawn on November 15, 2011 from all October, 2011 entries.

Q: How should I handle my niece’s sex questions and my sister’s need (or right) to know?

Amy Lang, MA answers the Moms in Babeland’s questions about talking to kids about sex. She appears as part of our celebration of National Family Sex Education Month.

Q: My niece has come to me with sex and puberty questions and I have been hesitant to answer without inquiring about the parent’s comfort level. Do I answer and we keep it our little secret or do I approach the parent and potentially lose my niece’s trust?

Amy: Every kid needs at least one trustworthy adult, other than their parent, to confide in about life! Congratulations, you’ve been chosen. One of the tips I give parents over and over is to make sure their kids know who their trustworthy adults are, so the kids have someone to talk to if they need help in some way.

Parents aren’t always the first person a child confides in because of our tendency to freak out, judge, and any number of off-putting behaviors. Kids often need to “test the water” with someone else, so they can gauge reactions before they talk to their parents.

In your case, I would suggest that you have an agreement with your niece that your conversations are private, but if you believe her health or safety is at risk, and then the two of you together will talk to her parents.  You can talk about what this means so you are on the same page.

Then, I would tell your sibling that their child has been confiding in you and asking for information and advice. I would then say that you wanted to let them know and that you have the above agreement with her. Then suggest that they get her some books on the topic – there are tons on my site, Birds + Bees + Kids. Read the full post »