The Virgin Diaries: This Mom’s Hope for Her Son
After reading reviews of Bristol Palin’s memoir which just hit shelves I was reminded of my own first time. It was, unfortunately, not too far off from Bristol’s. This made me think about what I want for my own child’s first time and what I would like to see in his memoir.
I hope that he knows that he doesn’t need to lie to me. If there is someone that he is genuinely interested in pursuing then I want to support him. I know that he will not always choose to surround himself with people or situations I wholeheartedly approve of, but I will support his decisions as long as those people are respectful to him and that he remains respectful to himself. I would rather him know that he could call me and get out of a situation than feel really trapped or alone if a situation gets bad.
I also hope that every time, and especially the first time, he has sex that it is a mutually agreed upon event that is fulfilling and exciting. I can already see him wanting to grow up fast and be independent and I hope that he realizes that growing up fast and growing up healthy are not inclusive or exclusive of each other. They can go hand in hand but they can also happen without one another. Trying to rush a first time experience or making a decision to jump into something before one is ready to accept the joys and consequences that accompany it can be detrimental. I am not talking just sex here although this is the area I fear the damage being done most.
I have thought about what I want to do or say when I find out that he had sex for the first time. I want to make sure he knows that there is support if he needs it and make sure that he used protection and enjoyed the experience. I have made plans to keep a “community” condom bowl in the house so that he knows there is access to protection and the sex books are all on the selves in the living room. So hopefully he will go into a situation feeling knowledgeable and prepared.
More than anything I want to see him grow up to be a self-actualized, happy, healthy person. I know that a person needs to make mistakes and learn lessons along that road. I want to just be the person there to support him on that road.
- Dad’s Advice to His Son: Puberty
- Talking With My Kid About Sex: Age 9
- A Dad’s Advice to His Son on Masturbation
- Talking With My Kid About Sex pt. 1
- What My Mom Does For a Living