Moms in Babeland

Keeping Sex Fun While Trying To Get Pregnant

I recently met up with some friends who are trying to get pregnant.  They have been trying for a while and seem to be getting a little frustrated with the whole process.  They told me about how exhausting sex has become.  I could totally relate.  Once sex became about getting pregnant it changed the meaning of sex and the nature of the way that my husband and I started talking about and enjoying sex.  We found ourselves taking the pleasure out of sex and making it much more objective driven.

It started with the tracking.  Every month I would mark down the start of my menstrual cycle so that I could calculate my first day of ovulation.  Sometimes I would track my temperature with a basal thermometer to help determine the exact moment of ovulation.  We would try to find time that day to have sex and a couple of days before and after just to be safe.

Then there was the waiting.  The two weeks between ovulation and the first day of my period always seemed so long.  Wondering if those painful cramps would return again that month.  Finding myself totally disappointed at the first sign of blood.

This process from month to month began to take the excitement out of sex.  It felt so planned and scheduled that it lost the excitement of spontaneity.  We started doing it quickly just to get to the point–cutting out things like kissing and cuddling.  We had to balance it between work and everything else that we had going on.

And then of course, the weekend that we did get pregnant was the first time that we let go of the pressure of getting pregnant.  We had an entire weekend with no outside responsibilities.  We were able to stay in bed late, enjoy each other’s company, take our time, and relax.  Two weeks later the pregnancy test came back positive.

Customers often ask me what they can do to keep sex fun while they are trying to get pregnant.  For a long time, because I was struggling with it myself, I didn’t know what to say.  I would recommend toys to spice things up in the bedroom or massage oil to help with relaxation.  While these things do help, in the end it really is about the mindset.  The ability to let go of the pressure and remember that sex–no matter what the purpose–should be fun, relaxing, and pleasurable.

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Related posts:

  1. How To Get Pregnant When Your Sex Life Is Sub-Par
  2. Love Your Sexy, Pregnant Self
  3. The Pregnant New Yorker’s Alternative Health Expo
  4. Sex During Pregnancy and Parenthood Class

2 Responses to “Keeping Sex Fun While Trying To Get Pregnant”

  1. Shanny says:

    This is so true! I get the same question a lot and am at a little bit of a loss. I find that anytime someone is feeling that there is a lull in their sex life it has to do with a mental state in general and not necessarily just a sex related mental state.

  2. Nindya says:

    I use basal thermometer to find the best time to have sex with my husband

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