Moms in Babeland

Making Time for Mom

Yesterday my son posed the question, “who is your best mom friend?” After taking far too long to answer I simply said, “I don’t know. I don’t have many mom friends.” He did not like this answer and started naming the moms of the kids in his life and I realized that I genuinely enjoy all of the people named but that I do not feel close with any of them. This led me to question why I have a lack of other moms in my life. I like moms and I am a mom, it would be nice to have someone who appreciates the frustrations and triumphs that come with raising a child…and that is when the answer struck me. I don’t have many mom friends because we are all too busy being moms.
Trying to schedule a parent for some one-on-one time is nearly impossible but scheduling two parents gets even harder. Between work, school, guitar and swim lessons, homework, bedtime routine and trying to get some time to bond with my son I don’t have a lot to give to someone else. The nights that my son is at his dad’s house I am trying to build a relationship with the person that I am dating. I started making a mental list for ways to make more time for relationship building of all sorts.
Here is what I have so far…what tips can you share?
- Get a babysitter
- Have a playdate (mom and kid get to build a relationship)
- Clean at night so the days off are free
- Let go of the “supermom” persona, you can’t do it all but you can do what you need
- Start a book club
- Join a parenting group
- Stop making excuses and start making time

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2 Responses to “Making Time for Mom”

  1. Leela says:

    I’m not a parent, but one of my favorite tools when things get busy is the internet. I can write three lines at four in the morning and hear back from an equally busy friend when they have time to write. I’ve built strong and lasting relationships that started that way, then progressed to snail mail cards with small gifts tucked inside or other non-virtual surprises. Is it as good as a late night cup of tea shared on the couch? No, of course not. But it does work. Especially as my friends become parents, I’m finding that letter writing, email, and even Twitter have their virtues.

  2. Marie says:

    As a Mom of two I can relate to the struggle of finding “Mommy” time. One would think it gets easier as your child gets older, but I think it’s actually the reverse. At least when they’re little (previous to school), you might get a chance for a playdate or two (of course that doesn’t guarantee that all involved will get along – the dilema is always to find a child your child likes AND hope that their Mom is someone you like.) But once the kids are in school, soccer, piano, karate, dance, etc. it’s difficult to find time to hang out with Mom friends, let alone meet new ones. While I don’t profess to be an expert, here are some of the ways I try to find Mommy bonding time: Mom groups (like MOMS Club, Mommy & Me, etc.), Mom’s Night Out (invite all your Mom friends out for a drink), Host a Passion/Toy party (you’d be surprised how many Moms will make an effort to show up!), and like Leela said, I think the internet has it’s place – I stay up to date with many Mom friends on Facebook, and I also use texting as well.

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