Keeping the Love Life Alive On 3 Days a Week
I am a very busy person, and so is the person I am dating. We both tend to fill our lives with as much as (if not more than) we can handle. He is in multiple bands and busy with music and his career 60+ hours a week and I am busy with parenting and working 60+ hours a week as well. This leaves us with three nights a week that we (hopefully) see each other. On these three nights we often have to make concessions to the many obligations of friends and family. We have taken steps to try and ensure closeness and to shorten the time it takes for us to re-connect on an emotional level every week.
We make sure to have some form of contact everyday and that in that contact we tell each other “I love you” in a genuine way. Sometimes this is in text message form, through email, a brief one minute phone call or a two hour long session on the phone. No matter the length or format of the discussion there is always an effort made to make sure that we both know they are appreciated and loved with no strings attached.
We have also decided that every time we come together or part, we will kiss for 15 seconds. This forces us into a physical and emotional bond more rapidly than the, “how was your day” conversation and it is amazing how much the worries of the world melts away when you are engaged in a deep kiss.
Lastly we have made a genuine effort to allow ourselves a little time to catch up before jumping into a social situation with other people. This is sometimes just the 20 minute car ride before we go out. Or we allow for an hour all to ourselves after we’ve been apart for four days, before we socialize with other people. This enables us to go into social situations feeling good about our relationship, which in turn leaves us feeling good when we come out of the social obligations.
The one full day that we spend together is also the only day we both have to do errands/housecleaning/sleeping. Needless to say there is not a lot of time for sex. So we have also agreed upon and have had open conversations about respecting when one person is not in the mood to have sex. There is often pressure to have sex when we see each other as little as we do which can lead to someone feeling like they are letting their partner down if they are not in the mood. We make sure we fool around throughout our time together and allow for the Hitachi or the grip to fill in if someone is not feeling it.
All-in-all these little steps have ensured that we feel connected throughout all of the road bumps that come along.
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