Moms in Babeland

You Say Virginia, I Say Vagina

“Did you ever get in trouble (by a parent, a teacher) for saying a sex ‘word’ or ‘phrase’ when you didn’t know what it was?” We recently asked our Babeland Facebook fans this question, and nearly 100 people shared memories that were hilarious and poignant. Their stories illustrate a couple of interesting things. First, kids are naturally curious, enthusiastic, and rebellious — so it’s no surprise that so many of us had memories of pushing up against the bounds of propriety.  Secondly, although these stories are funny, there’s no telling how the parent, teacher or “adult” in the stories handled these “teachable moments,” and many kids may have been shamed in a way that either stifled a healthy curiosity or made them feel bad about the association with sex. So challenge yourself to imagine how you would handle some of these incidents in a positive way (here are tips for overcoming your embarrassment)!

Without further ado, here’s what we found:

Words that popped up the most often as getting kids into trouble: “Blow job” and “dildo”.

Most Common “Oops” Words:

(words kids said thinking they mean one thing and finding out they meant another)

  • Organism v. Orgasm
  • Condo v. Condom
  • Tentacles v Testicle
  • Virginia v. Vagina

Best anecdotes:

‎”In 2nd grade, we were learning about synonyms. Teacher asked the class for synonyms for the word “happy”, I raised my hand and said “orgasmic.”"

“I was 8 or 9, and my father took me to one of his business dinners with his colleagues, 10 or so men with suits and ties at a 5 star restaurant. I had been to this restaurant before, and LOVED the calamari (expensive taste for a 9 year old, eh?). Well, this particular evening, they served the dish without the tentacles, which happened to be my favorite part, so I asked the waitress (being very proud of myself that I knew what they were) if they were going to be serving the “testicles”…. needless to say the businessmen were impressed, but not for the reason I was hoping for… ”

“I was about 5 years old and we had little kids’ Scrabble (with the blue cardboard tiles) and I had an older brother who knew all the “big kid” words, so he spelled out F-U-C-K and walked away, leaving me and my other brother there. my mom came in the room to check on us and I yelled “what does FUCK mean!?” No bueno. LOL”

“A girlfriend once mentioned the term “blow job” and when I asked her what it meant, she told me to ask my mom during dinner. So I did.”

“I called my dad a jerk off in 6th grade thinking it mean the same thing as a jerk. My mom was furious.”

“Well it wasn’t a SEX word persay but in the right “area” … my dad used to say STOP BUSTING MY BALLS when he was arguing with, well, anyone; I must have been 10-years-old and I repeated it to my grandmother while we were bickering, thinking it meant EYE balls…”

“Oh yes, my friends still haven’t let me live this one down. I love VW buses, the ones from the 60′s. I also love shag carpeting. So for a long time, I would say that my dream car was a ‘Shag Van’. Yeah.”

“I called my sister a “dirty slut” once when I was mad at her. I was 9 and she was 3. My mom yelled at me pretty good.”

“I was, in grade school — young enough to know OF sex but not get an official talk — maybe it was after my first sex ed class in school. I totally watched alot of National Geographic. I was doing a science fair project on rock polishing and one of them had a pattern on it that totally looked like sperm chasing down an egg. So there I am, finishing up my project and my aunt asked me about the rocks, and what they looked like to me, so I exclaimed “this one looks like sperm!” The room went silent, I think she choked, my mom grabbed my hand and walked me out of the kitchen and asked me where I learned that word.”

“One time I told my mom to “suck my hairy dildo”. She laughed and said “they make those?!” I had no idea what that meant at the time…ha!”

Have an anecdote or a comment about talking to your kids about sex? You can win prizes by posting comments on Moms in Babeland during October. Details.

Related posts:

  1. Yes Virginia, There is a Clitoris
  2. My Favorite Sex Ed Moments
  3. What My Mom Does For a Living

topics: Parenting


One Response to “You Say Virginia, I Say Vagina”

  1. Ana says:

    I heard my siblings using the word orgasm while I was doing science homework one evening and the next day in class I was asked to read. Proudly I read every single organism as orgasm, thinking I had found the more proper term. I said it at least six times before noticing the horror on my teachers face as well as some giggling. No one ever said a thing, but oh did I figure it out later. I’m sure to tell people now when I remember that story. So funny. Still wish someone had SAID something!

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