Moms in Babeland

To Give or Not to Give an 18 Year Old Girl a Vibrator? That is the Question…

There’s a bit of a debate going on over at BabyCenter about whether it’s ok to give your daughter a vibrator when she turns 18. They’ve all agreed that it’s generally not ok to give it to her in front of her friends (agreed), but the number of parents who are steadfastly against the idea of gifting a young woman a vibrator astounds me. So for the record here are 2 great reasons why I think you should:

1. She will learn where her clitoris is, and this will unlock the secrets of her sexuality. If your kids are learning anything at all in school regarding sex, chances are the location of the clit, and how to pleasure it, are not on the curriculum. Most schools’ sex education is limited to discussions of disease prevention (which focus more on condoms and penises than clits), and contraception (again, no need to mention the clitoris here). So as a good parent who supplements all that is lacking in your child’s education, you can explain this yourself or at least give her access to a good book or web site. But her explorations may still not be as fruitful as her male counterparts’ will be—unless you give her a vibrator, and that leads us to reason number 2:

2. A vibrator can give her an orgasm. Maybe you don’t want to take credit for your daughter’s first orgasm, but let me ask you this: would you rather she didn’t have one? Since most women require a little assistance in order to achieve orgasm, a vibrator really can be the thing that helps her figure this out at 18 rather than 48 (and let me tell you at Babeland we sell a lot of vibrators to older women for this very reason). Once she experiences an orgasm and understands this part of her sexuality, she will be more capable of enjoying and subsequently owning decisions regarding her sexuality.

So IMHO, an excellent graduation of birthday gift for any young woman would be a vibrator and a copy of the book Moregasm. It would be like getting a driver’s license and a car at the same time!

And as a mom who puts her money where here mouth is, I tried giving my daughter a vibrator when she was 14, along with a great book and and a pep talk for self-pleasure, because I thought it was an important gesture to make for the two reasons above. She wasn’t ready for it and returned it to my room, but I feel confident that when she is, at least she knows where to find it.

Related posts:

  1. Q: What should I do when my 12-year-old asks me invasive questions about my sex life?
  2. Q: How do I talk to my 5-year-old about masturbation?
  3. Yes Virginia, There is a Clitoris
  4. Would You Give up Sex for Coffee?
  5. Don’t Forget to Explain What an Orgasm Is

topics: Parenting


2 Responses to “To Give or Not to Give an 18 Year Old Girl a Vibrator? That is the Question…”

  1. Claire says:

    I’m not sure of the average age of the women quoted in the Babycenter article- and subsquent discussion in the comments. But as a female who wasn’t 18 too long ago, I can say firmly, and without a doubt, regardless of how comfortable or progressive your family is: this is a bad call.

    This is a bad idea because it is one of the WORST examples of helicopter parenting I’ve come across.
    If you have raised your daughter right- with a knowledgeable and healthy attitude towards sex and her body- she will know she’s able to go get her own vibrator. And I bet she probably will. If she doesn’t, that really isn’t your business- at 18, she is an adult. If you feel you NEED to gift her with such a personal item, upon the age she turns ADULT, you have probably failed somehow else in your promotion of sex positivity in your parental role.

    And trust me, trying to make up for a bucketload of lost time? If the sex-positive environment hasn’t been a given for your daughter, this is the worst possible route to take to introduce your daughter to a healthy sexual life. Because introductions inevitably form connections and come with baggage.

    And, what’s less orgasmic than your mom?

  2. Personally, I see no issue with it. No, you shouldn’t make a big deal of it and give it to her in front of her friends, but it is so important that a young woman know about herself and her body. Sex ed is seriously lacking. I don’t remember ever even hearing the word “clitoris” in sex ed when I was in school. If they did, it was just in passing.

    I’m not sure what the big deal is other than it makes the parents uncomfortable. If that’s the case, give her a book and a giftcard so that she can pick her own vibrator. It’s not like you are encouraging her to engage in risky activity or have multiple partners at once.

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