Talking With My Kid About Sex pt. 1
This past month I had the pleasure of starting the sex talk with my 8 ¾- (don’t I forget it) year-old son. The conversation has been lengthy and has had many components so I will be writing this in installments. I want to start off by saying how terrifying this experience can be as comedienne Julia Sweeney discusses here.
I talk about sex all day long in a shame free environment and suddenly I am stricken with fear that I may leave some stigma on this young boy’s mind. I am lucky enough to have a brilliant young man that knows his mom over-talks and over-analyzes everything and knows how to tell me (politely) when he has learned all he wants to know. There are some amazing sound bites from our conversation that I will throw in but mostly I will break it down into a Q&A discussion for your reading pleasure.
The conversation started one day as he was doing his nightly reading homework and chose an anatomy book as the material of the night. He came up to me and told me that the reproductive organs section was his favorite part but it did not explain everything he wanted to know. At this point I took the book, What’s Going on Down There by Karen Gravelle off of the shelf and told him that this may answer more of his questions and also that I am happy to be a resource as well. He began reading the book and here is what happened next.
- The book said that when a man’s penis is hard, he is producing semen. So, am I producing semen?
Well, your body is capable of producing semen but not until you go through puberty. When you are producing more testosterone you will start producing semen and that is when your erections may lead to ejaculation.
- What is that?
That is when the semen leaves the penis through the urethra or the hole in the tip of your penis.
-Oh, so can a person have sex with anything?
Well, there are limitations based on what the item is, how it is used and there has to be a consensual agreement based on what we are talking about. Is there something in particular you are curious about?
- I don’t know…like a bottle or flag. Something like that…
(fighting back a little laughter at the visual) People have tried having sex with many objects. Bottles could be a bad idea because they could break or your penis could get stuck and that would not be much fun. I would recommend having sex with softer objects like a pillow or blanket instead of hard things like bottles. Flags can be made out of a soft material and that could be pleasurable. However, there is some political back lashing that could come from that so you may want to consider a scarf instead of a flag.
These were just a few of the questions asked as we began our conversation. The next post will be up soon…
- Talking With My Kid About Sex: Age 9
- What My Mom Does For a Living
- The Virgin Diaries: This Mom’s Hope for Her Son
- Talking with your Kids About Sex with Judith Steinhart
- Sex Education: Teenager Style