Moms in Babeland

Q: Both my girls get all grossed out when I try to use sex terms. How can I help them get more comfortable with the subject?

Amy Lang, MA answers the Moms in Babeland’s questions about talking to kids about sex. She appears as part of our celebration of National Family Sex Education Month.

Q: Both my girls (8 and 14) get all grossed out when I try to use sex terms like ‘clitoris’ and ‘vulva’. How can I help them get more comfortable with the subject, if we can’t even get past the terms?

Amy: The short answer: you can’t. The long answer, they’ll get over it, or they won’t. The important thing is that you are using the correct words and talking about it. Make sure they have books to consult, so they can get their questions answered without having to have a conversation.

My Ask ANYTHING Journal is good for this — your daughter can write her question to you and you write back. No embarrassing face-to-face time. And then you have some great conversations starters.

Finally, acknowledge that it’s uncomfortable to talk about this stuff and you totally understand that they don’t want to hear about it. Then I would go on to say that part of your job as their mom is to keep them healthy and safe and talking about sex, love and relationships is part of the deal.

Have an anecdote or a comment about talking to your kids about sex? You can win prizes by posting comments on Moms in Babeland during October. Details.

Amy Lang, MA Guest Blogger
A sexual health educator for over 20 years, Amy Lang teaches parents and other folks how to talk to kids of any age about the birds and the bees. She is the author of the Mom’s Choice Award®  winning Birds + Bees + YOUR Kids – A Guide to Sharing Your Beliefs About Sexuality, Love, and Relationships and The Ask ANYTHING Journal. She created the lively and engaging video Birds + Bees + Kids: The Basics so parents can learn how to talk to their kids about sex and values without leaving the couch! Sign up for her newsletter and teleclasses at

Related posts:

  1. Q: What should I do when my 12-year-old asks me invasive questions about my sex life?
  2. Q: How should I handle my niece’s sex questions and my sister’s need (or right) to know?
  3. Q: I don’t want to make heterosexual intercourse the definition of “sex.” To me oral, anal, hand jobs, same gender sex: it’s all equally part of the deal. So how do I present it that way?
  4. Q: At what age is it OK to tell my daughter where the stash of condoms is and invite her to use them?
  5. Q: When (if ever) should I show my child a photograph of an aroused adult, or of adults having sex?

topics: Parenting

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