Knock Before Entering: Mom’s Quest for Privacy
I have an acute sense of privacy which I am now struggling to pass on to my 9-year-old son, who doesn’t think twice about entering unannounced into my room or bathroom. I am trying to teach him that everyone needs that space where they can go and be left alone when they need to be.
I have recently laid down a rule that we have to respect each others rooms and space. I will not go in his room except to feed the fish or put away laundry without his permission and he will not treat my room as his. Often times he will read his book in my room while I make dinner because the rooms connect. This has led him to regard this room as another shared space of the house and one where he can enter or be at anytime he sees fit. I hope to implant respect for each others’ personal space into both of us as we progress over the next few months.
J’s need for personal space and the ability to go and be left alone for a little while is growing now that puberty is upon him, but just as he knows when he wants to be alone, he also knows when he wants to be with someone else. So, he may come out from brooding in his room and want to snuggle with me while I am decompressing from the latest hormone surge we just went through. I am never one to turn down snuggles but I need time to breath and let go of the latest argument as well. I have worked with this by just explaining that, “I need a few more minutes of alone time. Then we can meet up in the living room to snuggle and be together.”
I don’t feel that we need to completely swing the pendulum of privacy. I just feel like we need to get a little more balanced and I want to allow him to have space as I know I need it as well. Check out these other great privacy tips for parents from the book Sexy Mamas: Keeping Your Sex Life Alive While Raising Kids.
• Put a lock on the bedroom door
• Reconsider “family bed”
• Enforce bed time
• Keep a guest room stocked with lube and sex toys
• Try quickies in the shower
• Try sex in the closet, the car, or in the backyard
• Have a tryst while the kids are watching cartoons