Moms in Babeland

“Is That How You Always Kiss?…”

…asked our 5 year old the other day, miming an open mouth leaning in as if bobbing for apples.

Is that how we kiss?” I whispered to Laura, then I spun and replied loudly to my young inquisitor, “No, we do it like this!” practically spraining my lips with pursing. All I need is cakey lipstick and scary decolletage and I’d make a great-aunt from hell. “Give me a kiss” I squeal as he runs away laughing.

So much for sex positive parenting. I dodged the Q. Should I have said “yes, your other mother and I love to twine tongues and slobber on each other. It’s how we express our love?” Or perhaps “Well honey, sometimes we do. You see adults, well it’s really feelings that start in adolescence for most people, feel that wet kisses are nice. Someday when you’re older, you will want to do open mouth kissing too?”

Sometimes I just can’t do it. I’m weak, I’m lazy, I’m tired, I’m embarrassed. So I play it for laughs.

What do you do?

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topics: Parenting

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