Dad’s Advice to Son: Deciding When You’re Ready for Sex
This is the next installment in a series of posts written by one of our readers, a dad who shares his experience talking to his son about sex. Enjoy!
Deciding to have sex
As far as the information I passed on as to the penetrative aspect of penile/vaginal sex, I simply stressed what my wife and I both believe—that the vast majority of young women (I believe I used the ages from sexual awareness to about 22) might not be mentally and emotionally ready for intercourse. For that matter, I went on, it was most likely he wouldn’t be either. We talked about why that might be (lack of knowledge, peer-pressure, not being ready for intimacy with an immature partner, etc.). I told him the story of how I lost my virginity, and how I was drastically unprepared for the mental aspect of it, and how there was no condom, no relaxation and no fun. I told him how disappointing it was to lose my virginity to someone I didn’t love, and on top of it how I didn’t even enjoy it.
After this talk, I touched on another activity that may be less intrusive and more age-appropriate—mutual masturbation (keep in mind, please, that there was already an extensive discussion about female sex organs; this was, after all, a very long talk). This is where I told him about the clitoris with its astounding number of nerve endings and how his mom equated her clit to having all the feeling of a penis in an organ the size of a small pencil eraser (his mouth actually fell open during the clit talk—he was very impressed). I wanted him to realize how important this organ was to a woman’s pleasure, but I also talked to him about how other cultures viewed the clit, and how some even removed it. I really wanted him to know how a woman’s sexuality could be repressed and why it should be celebrated. Also, I wanted him to be in awe. I figure if I have to be amazed at that little organ, he may as well be, too.
Read an earlier installment on talking about masturbation.
Plus, you’re invited to participate in Babeland’s fundraiser for sex education. Just donate $5 and you’ll receive free Jimmyjane massage lotion.
- Dad’s Advice to His Son: Puberty
- A Dad’s Advice to His Son on Masturbation
- Sex Advice to a Teenager
- Frank Sex Advice from a Father to his Daughter
- Are Kids Waiting Longer to Have Sex?