Moms in Babeland

Dad’s Advice to Son: Deciding When You’re Ready for Sex

This is the next installment in a series of posts written by one of our readers, a dad who shares his experience talking to his son about sex. Enjoy!

Deciding to have sex

As far as the information I passed on as to the penetrative aspect of penile/vaginal sex, I simply stressed what my wife and I both believe—that the vast majority of young women  (I believe I used the ages from sexual awareness to about 22) might not be mentally and emotionally ready for intercourse. For that matter, I went on, it was most likely he wouldn’t be either. We talked about why that might be (lack of knowledge, peer-pressure, not being ready for intimacy with an immature partner, etc.). I told him the story of how I lost my virginity, and how I was drastically unprepared for the mental aspect of it, and how there was no condom, no relaxation and no fun. I told him how disappointing it was to lose my virginity to someone I didn’t love, and on top of it how I didn’t even enjoy it.

After this talk, I touched on another activity that may be less intrusive and more age-appropriate—mutual masturbation (keep in mind, please, that there was already an extensive discussion about female sex organs; this was, after all, a very long talk). This is where I told him about the clitoris with its astounding number of nerve endings and how his mom equated her clit to having all the feeling of a penis in an organ the size of a small pencil eraser (his mouth actually fell open during the clit talk—he was very impressed). I wanted him to realize how important this organ was to a woman’s pleasure, but I also talked to him about how other cultures viewed the clit, and how some even removed it. I really wanted him to know how a woman’s sexuality could be repressed and why it should be celebrated. Also, I wanted him to be in awe. I figure if I have to be amazed at that little organ, he may as well be, too.

Read an earlier installment on talking about  masturbation.

Post a comment in the Parenting Topic, send us your sex education anecdote, or link to this topic during July, and you could win a great prize! Learn more.

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Related posts:

  1. Dad’s Advice to His Son: Puberty
  2. A Dad’s Advice to His Son on Masturbation
  3. Sex Advice to a Teenager
  4. Frank Sex Advice from a Father to his Daughter
  5. Are Kids Waiting Longer to Have Sex?

tags:

topics: Parenting


One Response to “Dad’s Advice to Son: Deciding When You’re Ready for Sex”

  1. Noel says:

    Best advice is to do it with someone that you love – without either telling the other that “If you love me then … “.

    I was lucky enough to have my first time with someone that I loved and that loved me.

    One of the pieces of wisdom that my wife and I have discussed this with our daughter and will soon be doing the same with our son.

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