Adult Sleepover Etiquette
This week my partner and I are about to take a big step. He is going to stay the night on a school night while my son is home. I know that the idea of an adult sleepover is not a big deal to my son–his dad lives with his girlfriend–but mom’s house is different. It is the house that is always structured and safe, and for the last three years has been inhabited by only my son, the dog and me.
There are so many questions about our behavior as a couple as we take this next step, “Do we still shower together or do we need to shower separately?” and “Do we have sex if we are in the mood?”.My partner is nervous that we may be giving the wrong impression about showering together, but I try very hard to not have body/nudity shame in the house and feel that showering together is not going to send mixed messages or disinformation to J (my son).
As far as sex is concerned, I know that once J is asleep he will sleep through a bomb exploding. I also know that walking in on mom having sex with someone is challenging for everyone: just ask anyone who has ever experienced that. I do believe that this may happen eventually, but don’t want it to happen the first time my partner sleeps over.
I know that over-thinking the situation is what will make it awkward. I also know that because this is someone that both J and I love and want in our lives for years to come that we need to take this step…I just wish it wasn’t so anxiety producing.
And I want to hear from you single moms, or former single moms: How did you deal with the adult sleepover etiquette?
- Dating Logistics for the Single Parent
- Q: When (if ever) should I show my child a photograph of an aroused adult, or of adults having sex?