A Dad’s Advice to His Son on Masturbation
In honor of father’s day, we’re running a series of posts written by one of our readers, a dad who shares his experience talking to his son about sex. Enjoy!
There seems to be a lot of sexual misinformation where we live in rural Nebraska, especially when it comes to what is passed on from parent to child. I thought 10 was almost too young to share sex information with my son, but it was actually almost too late. Although my son Adam was amazed, shocked and a little disturbed by what I had to tell him, little did I know in about three months his friends would be more than willing to tell him their version of how sex and sexuality works.
For this blog series, I’d like to run down a little of what Adam and I talked about during our sex talk, which covered several subjects and took three hours, but I’ll hit the highlights. What really helped facilitate communication between us, was my telling him I didn’t know everything. I believe that helped him to know he could ask questions and we could actually discuss the possible answers, not just have me lecture him about the “only right way” to behave or act. In this way, it became more of a journey than a series of lessons.
Today’s Lesson: Masturbation
I told him I discovered masturbation through a little blue book my parents gave me. I explained how frustrating it can be to masturbate and not achieve any release as a boy, and the magic experience when that release came. I told him about how I finally achieved orgasm—from a Wahl vibrator my parents used for their back aches (he laughed at this)—and how it really hurt due to my insistence on release and the subsequent pressure I applied to the head of my penis. Adam was embarrassed at this portion of the talk, and I asked him if he was getting a little goofy because he had some personal experience. He told me he masturbated about once a week. I said, “So about twice a day, huh?” He just gave me a knowing smile, so I think I was closer to the truth than he was.
This led us into a discussion of the seeming invincibility of an erect penis vs. the relative delicateness of the area, and how to avoid chaffing. I pulled up Babeland’s guide to choosing lube, and told him I’d be getting him some in a discreet bottle for his personal use. (He was pretty wary about his dad buying him such a thing, and when it came he tried to give it back. We discussed why it was important to have available, even if he had no intention of ever using it right now. There were a couple days where the lube showed up in my room, but I kept putting it back into his. This was a tennis match I won, by the way…or he did, really!)
I finished up this topic by touching on appropriate locations to masturbate (anywhere in his home as long as it could be made private), and how to clean up after masturbating with and without lubrication, and visual stimulation. For more on that last bit, you’ll have to stay tuned!
For another cool dad perspective, this one giving advice to a teen daughter, read this Babeland blog post.
- Dad’s Advice to His Son: Puberty
- Dad’s Advice to Son: Deciding When You’re Ready for Sex
- Q: How do I talk to my 5-year-old about masturbation?
- The Virgin Diaries: This Mom’s Hope for Her Son
- Frank Sex Advice from a Father to his Daughter