Sex Ed: Mom Was a Great Role Model
Everything my Mom taught me about sex was subtle.
We did not have “the talk.” When I was about 14 she asked me if I had any questions about sex. I said no. She said if I ever did, come to her. I never did, and that was that.
I was such a private person at that age that my Mom couldn’t really go the direct route. I had closed that door. So instead she communicated through books. First and foremost was the Joy of Sex, helpfully left on an easily accessible shelf. And of course Ms. Magazine arrived every month full of body positive messages. When I was 15 there was Rubyfruit Jungle, that seminal story of lesbian self-discovery, though my Mom had the courtesy to act surprised when I came out 2 years later.
In addition to books, my Mom had boyfriends. Handsome boyfriends whom she hugged and kissed. Late one night I heard a crash and leapt up to discover her bed had collapsed. Mom claimed it just fell apart while they were sleeping. But I don’t believe that. I do believe that my Mom had (has?) a good sex life and that that vibrancy was woven into the fabric of her daily life.
So though my Mom wasn’t successful in getting me to open up about my questions and concerns she aced the most important lesson of all: Model the Way.