Our Bodies, Ourselves: TMI
In honor of Mother’s Day, we asked our own moms to tell us what they learned about sex. Meet D’s mom, 57, a journalist who lives in a small rural town in the northern Midwest. Read the first part of her story.
D: Did you consciously attempt to raise us differently than you were raised regarding our sex ed?
Mom: Yes. It was a priority that you be raised without the same lack of information or terror around the subject. When you two were really young I started out with those intentions and I think I became more and more conservative as you got older.
D: I remember you and dad showing us that book (Our Bodies Our Selves) and taking the info sharing way too far way too young. I was disgusted with the drawings and actions as described by my dad. I never wanted to have that conversation with you two again! You didn’t really try other than to leave teenager FAQ sex books around the living room for me to find and read, which I was glad you did.
Mom: Oh GOD yes! I had forgotten about that early time. Your dad had to do all the talking because I couldn’t even speak. I just sat there. I feel like I totally failed at doing much better than my mom in reality.
D: What do you think of having a kid working in the sex industry now?
Mom: I don’t want to hurt your feelings! It is definitely a learning experience and not a bad one. I’ve had a lot of prejudices and insecurities and your paths (you and your sister’s) have helped me to deal with those. The worst thing I used to think of as a future for one of my kids was to be a stripper, I thought it would surely kill me. When your sister did just that I found out that it wouldn’t actually kill me. When the subject comes up about what you do now for work I try to avoid it. I’m afraid of the stigma attached to it. I used to think that I didn’t care what people thought about me. I now know that I do.
D’s Note: All shortcomings aside, I feel like mom and dad both earnestly tried to do better than their parents did for them around this subject and like so many others, they were simply-ill equipped to really know how to do that. I am thankful that they tried and did succeed in doing somewhat better anyway.
We invite you, if you’re a mom, (or are even just the cool, approachable older adult to some lucky kid), to tell us how your own sexual upbringing has influenced your relationship with your kids. Or if you’re another writer, please send us your story or link to Moms in Babeland. We’ll draw a winner at random from all the posts and links we receive and send the lucky recipient a MiMi vibrator. You can give it to your mom!
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- Two Degrees of Separation from Kinsey
- Sex Ed in the Backseat
- Good Advice From Mom: Always Use Condoms