Condoms Make Great Water Balloons
In honor of Mother’s Day, we asked our own moms to tell us what they learned about sex. Meet M’s grandmother, 72-year-old “Mamaw.”
M: How did you learn about sex?
Mamaw: I grew up on a farm which is a lot different than you kids these days. Back then people didn’t talk about sex. It wasn’t something that we did. I used to tell everyone that the best sex ed you can have is growing up on a farm--the first time I saw a birth was in high school, where a cow had birth in the pasture and then ate the afterbirth. I was so grossed out.
When I was a kid my cousins and I found these condoms in my Aunt’s night stand and we had this great idea to put them on the water well pump. When they came home we had great big water balloons. You’d be so surprised how much water a condom can hold (note: watch the video at the end of this post)!! My aunt and uncle were quite embarrassed.
M: Did any adults give your sex advice?
Mamaw: My mom and Dad were 17 when they had me and they were not married which was a big “‘no no” back then. I didn’t know my father until I was 12 years old. I thought my Aunt was my sister because my Grandmother (the woman who raised me) called my Aunt “Sissy.” I thought my Grandfather was my actual father. My real father told me about sex. He educated me about periods and puberty. He was afraid that I might do things (explore sex) early because he did--he was so young when he had me.
M: Mamaw, do you know where your clitoris is?
Mamaw: Not until you started working at Babeland. I mean, that’s one thing the animals on the farm didn’t teach me.
We invite you, if you’re a mom, (or are even just the cool, approachable older adult to some lucky kid), to tell us how your own sexual upbringing has influenced your relationship with your kids. Or if you’re another writer, please send us your story or link to Moms in Babeland. We’ll draw a winner at random from all the posts and links we receive and send the lucky recipient a MiMi vibrator. You can give it to your mom!
- Birds, Bees, and…Napkins
- Good Advice From Mom: Always Use Condoms
- Can You Say Scrotum in Spanish?
- Catholic Guilt Version of Sex Ed
- Great Gifts for Father’s Day