Moms in Babeland

Catholic Guilt Version of Sex Ed

In honor of Mother’s Day, we asked our own moms to tell us what they learned about sex. Meet S’s mom, a 60-year-old mother and grandmother.

S: What kind of sex ed did you receive?
Mom: Growing up in the ’50s and ’60s my education was limited. Sex was not something that was talked about at the time. I also attended parochial schools, so if anything was taught it was the Catholic guilt version. All of this combined to make it difficult for the first generation to break out of this role with their own children. I feel that I did a good job but I do wish that I could have had the openness then that we share now.

S: What did you learn about sex from your mom that you later learned was not true?
Mom: I didn’t really learn anything about sex from my mom. I do remember her telling me the first time I had my heart really broken: “PSSHAW, there will be another one along in no time, don’t worry about it.” At the time I thought that she didn’t know what she was talking about but soon realized she was right and more came along and I learned that I didn’t need to give them the power to hurt me either.

S: What do you wish you had told her kids about sex?
Mom: DON’T! Or if you do please wait a little longer before making me a grandmother.

S’s note: My Mom works full-time and loves traveling, skiing, music and living life to the fullest. She is a true inspiration to all who meet her. I am lucky to have her as my role model and friend. I spent a weekend with my mother celebrating her birthday and had the opportunity to open up the dialogue and interview her for the blog.

We invite you, if you’re a mom, (or are even just the cool, approachable older adult to some lucky kid), to tell us how your own sexual upbringing has influenced your relationship with your kids. Or if you’re another writer, please send us your story or link to  Moms in Babeland. We’ll draw a winner at random from all the posts and links we receive and send the lucky recipient a MiMi vibrator. You can give it to your mom!

Related posts:

  1. Good Advice From Mom: Always Use Condoms
  2. Condoms Make Great Water Balloons
  3. Sex Ed in the Backseat
  4. Can You Say Scrotum in Spanish?
  5. Birds, Bees, and…Napkins

topics: Our Moms

2 Responses to “Catholic Guilt Version of Sex Ed”

  1. SHannon says:

    I love this!

  2. Michele says:

    My mom was also raised with the Catholic guilt and lacking sex ed. Her own mother, my late grandmother, gave her some valuable sex advice: when my mother got her first period, my grandmother told her, “Don’t go near boys.” Awesome.

    A number of years and 4 kids later, my mother and I were much more open about sex (well, she really had no choice since I had so many questions). One moment that stands out is when I was about 12, in 7th grade, after hearing these stories (probably fabricated) about blowjobs from a classmate, I went home each day wondering what she meant. Finally, I sat down with my mom and asked, “Mom, what is a blowjob?” My mother- who at the time was most likely experiencing a heart rate faster than traffic on the Autobahn- calmly explained to me the best way she could: a blowjob is something you might do with someone you love when you are in a relationship. Seeing that that wasn’t enough to satisfy my curiosity, she went into some detail. After what must have seemed like an eternity to her but was, in reality, maybe a 10 minute conversation, I ended with a look of disgust and asked, “But why is it a called a ‘blowjob’ and not a “suckjob’?” I’m sure my mother was relieved that I was more interested in the accuracy of the terminology rather than the act itself. My mother’s openness with me led me to safely explore my curiosities without feeling guilt or as if I was doing something bad. I was always fascinated with sex but ironically didn’t lose my virginity until age 21- again, my mother was quite relieved.
    My fascination and curiosity has led me to want to teach and help others as a clinical sexologist and educator. My hope is that I can pass on what my mother had taught me: that, although it can be scary for a mom to think about, sex is perfectly natural and can be a healthy way to express yourself intimately with someone you care about.

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