Feeling a Little Buzzed!
You know that unbelievable feeling you get when you’ve realized that yes, you really are going to do it? As a parent, for me it takes all day planning to happen. Starting in the morning, I get my daughter dressed, schedule out activities that will not only be fun but will wear her out so she will sleep (fingers crossed), and then start breakfast. Throughout my busy day I remind myself what I’m looking forward to, and that no matter how much snot, jelly, tears or weird green substance (of unknown origin) get smeared all over me, tonight I will in fact feel sexy, be admired and get some uninterrupted “adult time”.
As all parents know, nothing goes as planned. This particular day, everything was actually on track for my night of knee-knocking bliss. Honest! We got up, breakfast cereal was eaten at the table and stayed in the bowl, teeth-brushed, then energy burned off with rock climbing. The day rolled by pretty fast, one activity to the next, with the scheduled 4pm three-year old mini meltdown, until finally, dinner time and a little Dora time in PJs.
Once she was asleep, I started in on my “preparations”. Lights dimmed, candles lit (just one per room, can’t over do the candles or its cheesy), showered, shaved, skimpy nighty and scented lotion applied. Uncorked a bottle of wine and enjoyed a nice glass (okay, maybe two) and then read a chapter of my current paranormal romance book. Was already into fantasy land when my SO came home. Only five feet into the house, I wrapped around him, with a mission to remove as much clothing before we collapsed onto the couch as possible. By the time we stumbled onto the couch I had succeeded in removing most of our clothing and toppled on top (I’m just not graceful enough to do anything hot… so I topple). After a minute my SO righted himself, flipped me onto my back and removed my panties. Right as I was leaning back, working my sexy “look what I’ve got” pose, I felt something poking uncomfortably into my back side (no, not what you naughty minded people are thinking). Without wanting to stop, I shuffled over an inch or two, readjusted, and ignored it. We started having at it like two people who knew they had a limited time and truly wanted to enjoy every second. Right as I was tossing my head back and arching my back for better access, I must have moved over an inch because as I opened my mouth to shout my release…. out come “Booya… Ittttttt’s Buzzzzz Lightyear” in Tim Allen’s voice.
Completely shocked we stopped mid-stroke. And then stayed there for a few seconds. What are you supposed to say when you realize you’ve been doing the nasty on Woody’s best friend, Buzz Lightyear. Flashes of Toy Story, Mr.Potato Head, then Mrs. Potato Head and every other childhood toy popping into my head. Thankfully my brain ended on Woody… because then I remembered, Woody… yes, this was my chance to enjoy my very own woody… and being a parent with limited opportunities to do that, I took full advantage and jumped back on top. Let’s just say, no matter what a turn off and awkward moment, I didn’t want Buzz to be the only one blasting off.
This post was submitted by Cassie, the sister of a Babeland staffer.
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