Archive for the ‘Self-Image’ Category
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Written by Anne on 12.2.2010 | 8 Comments
Here’s the scene: four giddy middle school girls gather at my house to watch Twilight. They are all avid readers and have heard that the author makes a cameo in the movie. She does show up, sitting on a stool in the cafe, and my daughter emits a shocked exclamation, “I didn’t realize she’d be fat.” Before the blood can drain from Rob Pattinson’s face I bark across the room, “what are you saying? A person’s size has something to do with their ability to write?” Of course I embarrassed her in front of her friends, but I had such a knee jerk reaction to the comment because I have worked so hard to shield my girls from this sort of thinking.
I have two girls ages 8 and 14. Since birth, I have been on a mission to ensure that they grow up free of shame or dissatisfaction with their bodies. I know it’s a losing battle because they are surrounded by images and peer pressure that equate thinness with beauty. Just last night I picked up a Star magazine left behind by one of our thanksgiving houseguests that included a 6-page spread showing female celebrities’ “beauty bloopers,” which included Angelina’s skeletal arms, J.Lo’s dimpled thighs, and Victoria Beckham’s acne.
I am 48, and was lucky enough to experience a brief window during my coming of age years (in the ’70s) where we thought hairy legs, rubenseque curves, and the natural look were going to set a new standard for beauty. Shortlived fantasy, but I never let that go (saved a lot of money or razors); it’s just that today I get lumped into a category of frumpy older hippy moms. I also came of age during the height of the feminist movement, which celebrated women for their talents, their brains, and their amazing capacity to get shit done. Read the full post »
Written by Shannon on 8.27.2010 | 2 Comments
Yesterday my son posed the question, “who is your best mom friend?” After taking far too long to answer I simply said, “I don’t know. I don’t have many mom friends.” He did not like this answer and started naming the moms of the kids in his life and I realized that I genuinely enjoy all of the people named but that I do not feel close with any of them. This led me to question why I have a lack of other moms in my life. I like moms and I am a mom, it would be nice to have someone who appreciates the frustrations and triumphs that come with raising a child…and that is when the answer struck me. I don’t have many mom friends because we are all too busy being moms.
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Written by Shannon on 8.12.2010 | 1 Comment
I know that as a mom, I have had a hard time accepting my mom body. There are days and times when I look in the mirror and say, “Damn girl, you are lookin’ HAWT!” and there are still other days when I look in the mirror and think, “what in the world happened to my body?” I know that this is not specific to being a mom. I talk to women all the time who feel this way.
As I taught the Sexy Mom’s night recently, the conversation barely went beyond me asking the question, “What makes you feel sexy?”. Many of the women in the room drew a complete blank for an answer. My response at the time just as my response in this post is, FIND WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL SEXY. For me it can change day to day and hour to hour, sometimes it is simple like a compliment from a stranger, other times it is putting on my favorite piece of lingerie or vibrating panties when I know I am going out with my partner for a night on the town. Read the full post »
Written by Krista on 8.4.2010 | No Comments
aka “Who’s your Daddy?” Why Parents are Sexy.
You guys might know that I am a single, busy mom and I hope you know that single, busy moms and dads need love too! In my search for knowledge and wisdom and love in the big bad world I have learned something: (I can’t say this is a steadfast rule in all situations but from my experience) parents are sexy and they make some of the best lovers. Responsible, honest, hard working, real, informed, caring, taking care of their children: parents. Read the full post »
Written by Rachel on 7.1.2010 | 3 Comments
I recently spent the weekend at NOLOSE, a conference of fat queer women and their allies, and as expected, it was mind altering. The constant anti-fat bombardment from every angle so dominates our cultural discourse that just to be in a room full of fat people who are accepting of their size, claiming their sexiness and their right to love and respect, and questioning the tenets of the obesity epidemic was a revelation.
Even among feminist sex educators there is a lot of desire to lose weight. A friend from the sex-ed world who is fat recently told me she wants to lose 30 pounds to see if sex gets better due to increased libido, because a recent Brown study shows that women who lose weight have more sex. I don’t buy it. My thought is that it’s because they feel less shame around their bodies, not because of the fat itself. The shame is the problem, not the bodies. Read the full post »
Written by Krista on 6.11.2010 | 3 Comments
Yes, I’m a MILF, yes, yes it’s true. I am sexy and sexually confident and open to talking about many and most things sexual and I am also a mom. The question on everyone’s mind is: How does that work, What does your daughter (we’ll call her ‘Bean’) know about what you do and where you work?
Up until recently, when I became the “Affiliates and Online Communities Producer” here at Babeland.com, she knew that mommy did “Customer Service” as a “Sex Educator”. I think adults with our filthy minds are the ones that make that sound a little more hands on than it actually is. Bean has been to Babeland. She has sat at the table in our office and she has worked on projects with my coworker’s daughter, while we were there doing our jobs, answering emails, and answering the phones. Read the full post »
Written by Anne on 5.25.2010 | No Comments
Thank goodness for archeologists. This week they found what they believe to be the oldest sex toy ever found–a 30,000-year-old stone dildo. The phallic shape and the dildo’s size–a whopping 8″, leave little doubt about its use as a sex toy, but the revelation here is that the dildo was used to light another fire–literally–it doubled as a lighter, indicated by the marks left on it from striking flint. You can just imagine a multi-tasking Betty Rubble type mom: her hubby is out hunting for food, while she’s at home using her tool to light the fire to cook the family meal, then later, while it’s still warm, she stokes her own fire. Love it. Read the full post »
Written by Anne on 5.22.2010 | 2 Comments
Ask someone to name a sexy mom and chances are they’ll mention the latest celebrity to sport a “baby bump.” As much as I love seeing pregnant celebrities in People magazine, Hollywood isn’t doing real moms any favors because there’s no way we’d measure up (nor do we necessarily want to). For one thing, those photos are often accompanied by obnoxious squibs about how this mom lost her baby fat in ten days or that one opted to have an elective C-section so she wouldn’t have to deal with a slack vagina. For another thing, those moms wouldn’t look so great without their army of chefs, trainers, personal assistants, and nannies helping them out.
So every week I’m going to show you what real sexy celebrity moms look like. My sexy celebrity moms offer something for all of us. Even it was just for a moment, each one of these ladies put a real face on motherhood, and gave us a glimpse of her sexy mom-ness in all its sensual glory. Read the full post »
Written by Audrey on 5.9.2010 | No Comments
Sexy Moms Night: Love Yourself First
Sunday, May 16, 7:00PM, Free at Babeland’s Seattle Store
Get back in touch with your sexy self! Shannon, savvy mom and one of the Moms in Babeland, will share tips on embracing your mom body, creating time for you, and rekindling desire. We’ll pamper you with mini-massages, refreshments, and snacks, too.
Why this topic you ask? When we held a Sexy Moms night last year, the number one reason moms gave for not wanting to be intimate was not liking their own bodies anymore.
Once one mom spoke up and talked about her stretch marks, there was an outpouring of support and agreement from other moms in the same boat whether it was displeasure with bellies, butts being bigger, boobs not as perky, etc… The class veered from talk about sex tips to talk about how to love our new mom bodies.
Loving your body and loving yourself as a sexual being is at the top of the list for having a happy sex life, so we have developed a whole class just for learning to love yourself up again. It can take a lot of baby steps (no pun intended), before you can stare at your naked body in the mirror and say in your sexiest voice “I am fucking HOT!” and then bring that sexy attitude to a partner, but we are going to help you do just that! Read the full post »
Written by Anne on 4.29.2010 | 7 Comments
In case you missed the recent brouhaha, Lane Bryant, the retailer for plus-sized gals, created a sexy new lingerie commercial with a full-figured model strutting her stuff (see below). Fox and ABC refused to air the commercial during American Idol last week, and Lane Bryant is (rightly) crying “double standard” for denying this ad while running Victoria Secret’s Naked commercials all over the place. Read the full post »
