Archive for the ‘Partners and Communication’ Category
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How do you get a bunch of rowdy fourth graders to sit still for a lesson about sex? I asked Canadian sex educator Meg Hickling—she’s been visiting schools for the past twenty-five years dishing out her brand of “body science” with astonishing success. Meg stands before preschoolers, middle-schoolers and high-schoolers, as well as parents, doctors and teachers, but her message and manner are always the same: straightforward sex information delivered honestly, candidly, and with respect for individual curiosity and opinion. Parents and kids alike love her, their word-of-mouth referrals have landed her in classrooms all over Canada, and in the US and Japan as well. She shares the secrets of her success:
It’s all in the approach
“The first thing I say to fourth graders is This is not about how to have sex. This is about your body and how it works. I know you all think having sex is gross and you’re never going to do it. Well, you never have to have sex in your life, but you’re always going to have sexual health to think about. You’re always going to have those parts. We’re here to talk about body science.’”
A little humor works magic
“I tell kids to think like scientists and that scientists never say “ewwww”, they say “in-ter-esting.” It works like a charm, the kids enjoy repeating it, and the teachers use that for the rest of the school year.” Read the full post »
When we talk about what’s happening inside the bedroom at Babeland, we like to meet people where they are. Maybe you’ve never had an orgasm and you are interested in buying a first toy, or maybe you’ve found yourself too busy picking up your kids toys to use toys of your own. Either way, we don’t think there is a one way to approach sex, which is why we created the Sexy Moms Series.
Every month we host eye-opening events for new parents that creates a space for moms and dads to talk about the immense changes that are happening to their bodies, lives and relationships. Our most popular class is “Sex During and After Pregnancy” where we chat with a diverse group filled with preggies and new parents.
This week we are excited to offer a new class, “Postpartum Sex”, that will focus on the experience of being postpartum and trying to reconnect with your sexy self. This free class will be led by childbirth and sexuality expert, Vanessa Anton and is open to singles, couples, friends and babies! Here are the details:
Tuesday, June 21, 07:00PM, Free
Babeland Brooklyn, 462 Bergen Street
You just had a baby… now what? Your sexuality is far from off-limits. Join childbirth and sexuality expert, Vanessa Anton, as she explains the changes happening to your body, your sex drive, and how to come back to your sexy self while caring for a newborn.
See you there!
Last night I had the pleasure of attending The Pregnant New Yorker’s Alternative Health Expo where I learned about breast feeding tips, options for pre and post natal care, and spent time with some seriously cute babies!
My favorite part was giving a talk about how to spice up your sex during pregnancy to a group of thirty women. I praised the joys of Babelube Natural, the ease of fitting the Form 2 under a pregnant belly, and gave tips for communicating during a time when hormones are flying.
This was our second experience attending a pregnancy expo, and the range of responses we’ve received from attendees has run the gamut from shyness to utter excitement.
So tell me – after hearing information about breasts, bellies, and babies, would you be excited to hear sex tips at a pregnancy event?
Where does sex rank on your daily priorities list? How about your weekly or monthly list? For many of us this may rank high but is one of those items that get easily bumped for another engagement. I know that I am guilty of this and so are many of the other moms I talk to. In a recent study published in the March issue of The Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy researchers show that a large percentage of people in long term relationships are unhappy with the frequency of sex in their lives. There is a great synopsis of the article in the NY Times. I would like to just use this article as evidence for why we need to make time for sex in relationships and understand why quality and quantity are important factors when thinking about a healthy and satisfying sex life.
“Anthony Lyons, a study co-author and research fellow at La Trobe, said the main lesson from the study is that couples need to learn how to communicate about their sexual needs or their reasons for not wanting sex.” Communication is a very important part of any relationship and I love that this study points out that communication has to include needs as well as reasons for not wanting sex. Negotiations are difficult to navigate when there is a withholding of information. It is not always easy to tell your partner why you may not be interested in sex and it is important to take the time to be honest with yourself as to why you are not interested or satisfied. Great ways to communicate with your partner include:
- using “I feel” statements
- avoiding the heat of the moment
- using the sandwich technique (compliment/critique/compliment)
- talk in environments that are non-threatening and comfortable for both parties
Read the full post »
This Sunday Babeland is attending the first-ever Brooklyn Baby Expo, hosted by one of our favorite parenting sites, ‘A Child Grows in Brooklyn.’ We can’t wait to give new and expectant parents the information they need to keep their sex lives fresh!
The Expo will showcase businesses that have the information and products you need to raise your urban baby. There will also be rotating lectures such as ‘Parenting Partnerships: How to work together.’ I hope curious parents wander over to Babeland’s booth to find out how they can work together to nourish their sex lives as well!
Our booth will be in the nursing lounge, an intimate and cozy setting where attendees will feel comfortable asking our Sex Educators personal questions. Think you’re too busy for sex? Turn that frown upside down, sexy mama! We’ll be dishing out real advice for how to spice up your sex life as a busy parent, and will be selling the toys and books that will convince you that making more time for yourself feels good.
So what are you waiting for? Put that dirty diaper down and stop by our booth to learn how to get down and dirty with your partner!
The expo is happening on March 13 at Toren, 150 Myrtle Avenue in Brooklyn. Tickets are $35 (60 for duos) and come with a free subscription to Time Out NY Kids. Find out more here.
Sex and parenting takes work. I am in a relationship with someone I only see a few times a week and we really have to work to keep our sex life robust. Many weeks we plan ahead and look at our schedules to see what time we have for sex. We make a date and a plan to turn off all other devices and just be together for a while that night. No matter what, we have made a pact that we will have sex at least once a week and that we will work to keep intimacy the other six.
Intimacy for us means:
- long, lingering kisses when we first see each other
- Calling or texting each other once a day to just say, “I love you” and check on how the day has gone.
- Sleeping with skin on skin contact when we sleep together
- Enjoying small rituals together, such as showering, watching a favorite show, seeing a band we both love, etc.
These small steps ensure that we are happy and satisfied sexually and emotionally. More often then not these weekly sex sessions are hot and steamy. We make them last for a couple of hours and linger on each others bodies because we can. We set aside this time and we have done the work all week so that we could spend this time, guilt free with each other.
So, you’ve got a child.
Everyone and their cocker spaniel has told you how important it is to stay connected to your partner now that you’re parents. But no one has told you how.
It should be easy enough, right? Two words should solve all your problems: date night!
Except they don’t.
Now that you are parents, you have relatively few opportunities to escape the house without children. And it’s quite possible that how you’d like to spend these escapades differs greatly from your partner’s preferred activities.
Plus, there’s an added twist no one told you about: obligatory date nights. You see, being a parent does not preclude you from having to go to weddings, adult-only birthday parties and work cocktail hours. These things require a babysitter and tear you away from your children. They are costly and often annoying. Sadly, you still have to go. Read the full post »
As a mom and a sex educator, I get asked a lot of sex questions my friends wouldn’t dare ask their own moms. Here are my 10 tips for keeping things hot and spicy even when life may be dishing out cold and bland.
1. Express Yourself:
Talk and learn about what you like. Don’t expect to get it right away, but be patient. Ask what your partner enjoys. If you are not together, send little love notes or questions via email or text that he can read on breaks. If he tells you that you text too much (whoops!), give him a call and leave a sexy message. If you don’t want to talk about your fantasies yet, write them down for yourself. Words are incredibly sexy, you may find ways to use them like this mom did!
When your lover talks about what he enjoys, or what he did today, or what he is passionate about, pay attention. Put down your smart phone, stop multitasking, and stop going over your mental to do list. I’ve noticed that my lover pays excellent attention when I tell him about my wants and needs. It feels so good to have someone care enough to listen and hear your thoughts and desires.
3. Be Present:
When you are together stay in the moment–don’t let your mind wander too far from what is important and where you are. When your mind is wandering it seems like you are not paying attention or interested in your partner. If you are distracted, let him know so he will not take your inattention personally. Read the full post »
I am a very busy person, and so is the person I am dating. We both tend to fill our lives with as much as (if not more than) we can handle. He is in multiple bands and busy with music and his career 60+ hours a week and I am busy with parenting and working 60+ hours a week as well. This leaves us with three nights a week that we (hopefully) see each other. On these three nights we often have to make concessions to the many obligations of friends and family. We have taken steps to try and ensure closeness and to shorten the time it takes for us to re-connect on an emotional level every week.
We make sure to have some form of contact everyday and that in that contact we tell each other “I love you” in a genuine way. Sometimes this is in text message form, through email, a brief one minute phone call or a two hour long session on the phone. No matter the length or format of the discussion there is always an effort made to make sure that we both know they are appreciated and loved with no strings attached. Read the full post »
aka “Who’s your Daddy?” Why Parents are Sexy.
You guys might know that I am a single, busy mom and I hope you know that single, busy moms and dads need love too! In my search for knowledge and wisdom and love in the big bad world I have learned something: (I can’t say this is a steadfast rule in all situations but from my experience) parents are sexy and they make some of the best lovers. Responsible, honest, hard working, real, informed, caring, taking care of their children: parents. Read the full post »