Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category
« Older Entries Newer Entries »
Written by Guest on 8.8.2011 | No Comments
In order to illustrate the importance of sex education (and on behalf of SIECUS our fundraising recipient this month), we asked our staff to contribute stories or anecdotes about their own sexual awakening or what kind of sex education they received.
B writes:
I remember getting my first condom demonstration in school. I was 17 and I had Mr. Brown as my health teacher. He was my high school’s baseball coach and a gym teacher. We actually had a demonstration from a Planned Parenthood representative. We were taught about all types of birth control from abstinence to Implanon. Even though we had condoms to pass around they still weren’t allowed to show us how to put an actual condom on. Mr. Brown rolled up a sock in a very condom-like maker and put it over his fist. He even made sure to show us to pinch the tip.
Written by Guest on 8.4.2011 | No Comments
In order to illustrate the importance of sex education (and on behalf of SIECUS our fundraising recipient this month), we asked our staff to contribute stories or anecdotes about their own sexual awakening or what kind of sex education they received.
S:
As a teen I was in a monogamous long term relationship with a partner who was wonderfully informed and open about sex. I thought myself responsible and informed as well and when, a year and a half into our relationship, we decided to start having sex, I went about arranging all the necessary precautions.
I set up an appointment with an ob-gyn with the help of my mom, went on hormonal birth control, bought ultra-lubed condoms and extra lube. We were extra cautious and careful thanks to my supportive mom and a wealth of careful internet research (and no thanks to our abstinence-focused school sex-ed program). In retrospect, I’m incredibly pleased and impressed with my young self and my ex-boyfriend. However I would like to reach back in time and redefine my definition of sex. At the time I thought the only sex needing contraception and protection was penis-in-vagina. It turns out that as I define sex now, I had been sexually active for quite some time before I took all those necessary precautions.
Written by Guest on 8.2.2011 | No Comments
In order to illustrate the importance of sex education (and on behalf of SIECUS our fundraising recipient this month), we asked our staff to contribute stories or anecdotes about their own sexual awakening or what kind of sex education they received.
A:
I can recall the first time and as hard as I try to remember I don’t think we actually got it right. My second time was probably my real first intercourse. I was 16-years-old, and we did not use protection. I wish I had known what to say or really what to ask my first partner. I didn’t know who to talk to so I didn’t. I didn’t ask him to wear a condom, I didn’t ask him if he was fluid bonded with other people, and I didn’t ask about his medical history.
Now that I look back I am very thankful that nothing horrible came out of that situation. I didn’t know where to get protection but I did know I couldn’t ask my guardian for one, and back then the message was more like “don’t do it” or “just say no” remember that thinking? All anyone ever really said back then was “you’ll get pregnant, you better not mess with boys.” Read the full post »
Written by Guest on 7.28.2011 | 1 Comment
In order to illustrate the importance of sex education (and on behalf of SIECUS our fundraising recipient this month), we asked our staff to contribute stories or anecdotes about their own sexual awakening or what kind of sex education they received. Feel free to share your comments on the Moms in Babeland blog and you could win a toy!
L:
My mother is a nurse and my father is an atheist, so when it came to topics of sex, they gave me the cold, hard facts. There weren’t shaming and they didn’t bring ethics into the conversation. For some reason or another, they completely forgot to mention that sex is pleasurable and that sometimes people have orgasms when it happens. So, you can imagine my sheer terror when I experienced my first orgasm. I’m pretty sure I thought I was dying. It felt like a streak of lighting was splitting up my insides.
I wish someone told me what an orgasm was, how amazing they are that they are normal and really fun. It would have made a lot more sense to me why people put sex on such a pedestal. If it feels really good, you don’t want it to end in a way you don’t feel comfortable with, like pregnancy, or sexually transmitted diseases, or just not feeling great about yourself.
I hope that when I am a parent I am able to explain sex to my kids without confusing or terrifying them.
Written by Guest on 7.25.2011 | No Comments
From L: I work with middle school students teaching sex education. I’ve also had some experiences I would have been better prepared to handle if I’d received more comprehensive sex ed. It’s not that I thought you couldn’t get pregnant if you had sex standing up, or other stuff that some kids actually believe. I needed an understanding of consent and communication skills, as well some basic STI info. (Note: my response talks about sexual nonconsent, so this is a trigger warning for the reader.)
When I was 18 I started having sex with a 25-year-old guy I’d met in the city. Well, I should say, he started having sex with me. I was extremely drunk after our first date and my memory/awareness snapped back into action with him on top of me, having P-V sex, sans condom. After, I asked him to use a condom for next time and he was totally dismissive, giving what my sex ed class should have taught me are classic lame excuses: saying he wasn’t dirty, I didn’t need to worry, we’d already done it anyway, he knew he didn’t have anything and besides, I was on birth control. Read the full post »
Written by Guest on 7.21.2011 | No Comments
From S:
I became pregnant 3 weeks after my 19th birthday. I was so afraid that I had let down my family. My mom was incredibly supportive and when I called to tell her, she just said, “Why are you crying? This is a happy thing. It’s going to be ok.” Some of my friends really stood by me and supported me while others cut off all contact. This was difficult but I also realized that I didn’t need people like that in my life. I read a lot of books and reached out to my family members with kids to get information and luckily had a great OB/GYN that took good care of me and made sure I had any/all the resources and support I needed. 9 years later, there have been struggles and I had to grow up really quickly but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
In order to illustrate the importance of sex education (and on behalf of SIECUS our fundraising recipient this month), we asked our staff to contribute stories or anecdotes about their own sexual awakening or what kind of sex education they received. Feel free to share your comments on the Moms in Babeland blog and you could win a toy!
Written by Anne on 7.18.2011 | 4 Comments
Once upon a time I had a fantasy that Sesame Street aired a segment where Cookie Monster taught kids that C was for clitoris. How radical! (12 years after I shared this fantasy on the site Hip Mama, Sesame Street decided to update Cookie’s image, but not to one that is sex-positive, but one that is vegetable-positive!)
But seriously, we teach kids the alphabet to learn all manner of things, why not come up with a sexual anatomy alphabet game? What a great way to normalize kids’ relationship to their sexuality when they’re young and the most impressionable. If you’re not sure why this is necessary, consider a recent study of pre-school-aged kids, in the journal Gender and Psychoanalysis, which revealed that girls are more likely to learn the word “penis” than any specific word for their own genitals.
Girls get short-changed right off the bat when it comes to understanding their bodies, and their confusion won’t get cleared up if parents awkwardly substitute euphemisms like “down there” or “hoohaa” when referring to them. It’s time to face up to our own discomfort and just set the record straight. By teaching them the correct names for their genitals, you not only send a positive message about their bodies, you provide the tools they’ll need if they ever have any questions or troubles. Imagine asking a child who’s been injured to tell you where it hurts without ever having taught them the names for their stomach, shins, and shoulders, and you’ll see my point. Read the full post »
Written by Shannon on 7.9.2011 | No Comments
Sex is becoming a more and more talked about subject in our household and J is starting to ask questions and confide in me more and more. His questions are thoughtful and make me realize that no matter how sex positive I think I am, it is hard to watch this little kid blossom into a young adult and want to take on more adult situations. He is turning 9 this week and he sat me down for a talk the other night. This is the abridged version of our that talk.
- J: Is it ok for me to love anyone I want…even if they aren’t cute?
- Me: Kiddo, as far as I am concerned you can love whoever you want so long as they love you back and treat you well. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and others’ opinions are not what you should base your feelings upon.
- J: nods silently and then goes on to ask… When can I start having sex? Read the full post »
Written by Anne on 7.1.2011 | 7 Comments
Share your sex ed anecdotes or advice during July, and you could win a Jimmyjane Form 2 from Babeland. The topic for the month is sex education and we’ll be posting on this topic in the parenting area during July. We invite you to post a comment here, write something and send it to us, or publish a story on your own site and link back to us. All we ask is that you talk to us about sex ed–we’ve got some suggestions below! Read the full post »
Written by Shannon on 6.27.2011 | No Comments
After reading reviews of Bristol Palin’s memoir which just hit shelves I was reminded of my own first time. It was, unfortunately, not too far off from Bristol’s. This made me think about what I want for my own child’s first time and what I would like to see in his memoir.
I hope that he knows that he doesn’t need to lie to me. If there is someone that he is genuinely interested in pursuing then I want to support him. I know that he will not always choose to surround himself with people or situations I wholeheartedly approve of, but I will support his decisions as long as those people are respectful to him and that he remains respectful to himself. I would rather him know that he could call me and get out of a situation than feel really trapped or alone if a situation gets bad. Read the full post »
