Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category
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Written by Anne on 12.6.2011 | No Comments
My older daughter loves musicals. She has aspirations to sing on Broadway. So we watch a lot of musicals, which I must admit (not having been a big musical fan), I have enjoyed very much. Musicals really do put a spring in your step and a song in your heart (which you can use when you’re pushing Fifty). But lately what I’ve enjoyed about them most are the ways they are teaching my kids about life, diversity, sex, history, and morality.
Sure we love the classics like Singing in the Rain, but there ain’t much of a social message there. Give us Hairspray with the drag queen mom, the fat-positive teenage lead, and the civil rights struggle. And they adored The Rocky Horror Picture Show with its fabulous soundtrack and lore–but boy did I answer a lot of questions about transvestites, bisexuality, and geez, even cannibalism. In South Pacific the characters struggle with racism, interracial relationships, and children born out of wedlock. In Funny Girl they see a driven and talented career showgirl who earns more money than her husband (and does exactly what she wants while telling everyone else not to rain on her parade). Read the full post »
Written by Krista on 11.17.2011 | 1 Comment
This post is about books and stories that help us to understand life, but that might not be so easy to digest. I remember falling in love with reading when I encountered my favorite author, Tom Robbins, in my teens. I wonder what my parents would have thought if they had snatched Another Roadside Attraction out of my hands as I was devouring it at age 16.
I want to share with you this lovely story, telling of fertility and the cycle of life. Connecting a trip to Babeland and (a big Dildo!) in a Sherman Alexie story. Along with some other big dildo magic.
“For those of us who were not immaculately conceived, we need sex to have babies. And we need a lot of laughter to survive pregnancy and parenting in a healthy state of mind.”
My story of stories is actually about another Sherman Alexie book: The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian. I knew of Sherman Alexie from school in Arizona, reading Reservation Blues seems almost like a lifetime ago. Read the full post »
Written by Guest on 10.30.2011 | No Comments
It’s easy to think that your child is too young for a discussion about sexuality. But the continuous flow of information through the media makes it likely that your children are regularly exposed to messages about sexuality, even if they don’t exactly understand what they’re seeing and hearing. By using language they understand you can begin to explain sexuality in ways that are appropriate for their age.
This may seem like an advanced topic to discuss with babies and toddlers, but as their main teachers it’s important for parents and caregivers to help them develop a healthy attitude toward sexuality. For children up to age two you can begin by naming all the parts of their bodies, teaching them that their entire body is natural and healthy. (“This is your arm.This is your elbow.This is your vulva/penis.This is your knee.”) By reacting calmly when they touch their genitals, you are teaching them that sexual feelings are normal and healthy. By holding them, hugging them, talking with them, and responding to their needs, you are laying the groundwork for trust and open discussions as they grow up. Read the full post »
Written by Anne on 10.25.2011 | No Comments
I wanted to share with you a letter a friend of mine wrote, a father, for his 18-year-old daughter as she headed off to college.
My Sweet Daughter,
I have taught you so much over the years, and now I need to talk to you a bit about love and sex. I want to share with you the little bit I’ve learned in my life, and offer you a man’s perspective, to help set you on a path toward happy and satisfying relationships. As you move through them, you get to write your own detailed and profound beginnings, middles and perhaps ends on this subject.
First, let me also acknowledge that what a man, a partner, a father says about sex is limited to what they know, what they have experienced, what they can imagine. And, this also assumes you are interested in men. If it is women, or both for you, than much of this still applies, please change the pronouns. Read the full post »
Written by Audrey on 10.21.2011 | 1 Comment
October is National Family Sex Education month, and besides this awesome contest where you can win prizes, we are also hosting events in our stores.
This weekend in Seattle we are hosting the Sex Positive Parenting Series put on by Nekole Shapiro, the founder of TantricBirth, and Allena Gabosch the director of the Center for Sex Positive Culture. The discussion is open, so any topic regarding talking to your kids about sex or creating a sex positive environment for your kids to grow up in, is on the table. Read the full post »
Written by Anne on 10.13.2011 | 4 Comments
If your activist side needs a break from the Occupy Wall Street protests, you might want to wander over to a site called One Million Moms where someone is trying to start a write-in campaign to have vibrators removed from drugstore websites because kids might stumble upon them.
I’m not encouraging you to join, I’m asking you to counter-protest this silly notion. First of all, drugstores have been selling vibrators for decades, as I know first hand because I bought one in 1978 at the age of 17 in a drugstore (it looked like this), so the idea that the mainstream stores are getting more X-rated is bunk. Secondly, what the heck are we afraid of if a kid stumbles upon a vibrator on a website? That it will lead to some expected curiosity (“mom, what’s that?”) and we might actually have to explain a little sexual anatomy to them? That sounds like a good thing to me. I ran across a survey recently that revealed that women who masturbate have higher self-esteem than those who don’t. So the worst thing that might happen if little Susie sees a Trojan Triphoria on Duane Reade is that she’ll a) want to learn about her body b) will want one and find a way to get one and c) will discover the joys of masturbation and ultimately end up with good self-esteem. Oprah had a respected psychologist on her show a year or so ago who courageously suggested that parents get their daughters vibrators so that they could learn about their bodies and feel more empowered to make good choices when it comes to partner sex. Read the full post »
Written by Guest on 10.10.2011 | 2 Comments
As a sex educator at one of Babeland’s NYC stores, I’ve been fortunate enough to get to learn about so many aspects of sexuality, from sexual health to pleasure and everything in between. I’ve definitely learned a lot more from my experience here than anything I was ever taught about sex in school. The topics we at Babeland share with customers on the sales floor and in our workshops, like anatomy, communication skills and personal confidence, are essential to a healthy sexual life.
Yet sex education in schools is still whack! It remains poor to nonexistent. Abstinence lessons are the equivalent of letting kids “learn it on the street”—being in denial about young peoples’ sexuality can encourage misinformation, poor choices and, well, bad sex lives as adults. I desperately want to help bring better sex ed to confused and horny teenagers. If I could teach sex ed in schools, this would be my lesson plan:
- Your body is yours, and your body is meant to be good to you. Get to know it. (Pass around hand mirrors and speculums for at-home exploration). Read the full post »
Written by Anne on 10.3.2011 | 2 Comments
How do you talk to your kids about sex? What to say at what age? How much to divulge and when? What words to use? Join the discussion and get advice on Moms In Babeland in celebration of National Family Sex Education Month! During October you can:
• Glean helpful “talking to your kids about sex” tips from SIECUS
• Read our Mom Bloggers’ sex education anecdotes—from poignant to hilarious
• Post a comment, anecdote, or question during October and enter a chance to win Babeland’s popular sex manual Moregasm*
Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS) is a non-profit dedicated to providing education and information about sexuality and sexual and reproductive health. Babeland customers helped raise $22,000 this summer to go toward SIECUS’ sex education work.
Moms in Babeland is edited by Anne Semans, a Babeland mom and co-author of Sexy Mamas: Keeping Your Sex Life Alive While Raising Kids.
* Moregasm winner drawn on November 15, 2011 from all October, 2011 entries.
Written by Guest on 8.8.2011 | No Comments
In order to illustrate the importance of sex education (and on behalf of SIECUS our fundraising recipient this month), we asked our staff to contribute stories or anecdotes about their own sexual awakening or what kind of sex education they received.
B writes:
I remember getting my first condom demonstration in school. I was 17 and I had Mr. Brown as my health teacher. He was my high school’s baseball coach and a gym teacher. We actually had a demonstration from a Planned Parenthood representative. We were taught about all types of birth control from abstinence to Implanon. Even though we had condoms to pass around they still weren’t allowed to show us how to put an actual condom on. Mr. Brown rolled up a sock in a very condom-like maker and put it over his fist. He even made sure to show us to pinch the tip.
Written by Guest on 8.4.2011 | No Comments
In order to illustrate the importance of sex education (and on behalf of SIECUS our fundraising recipient this month), we asked our staff to contribute stories or anecdotes about their own sexual awakening or what kind of sex education they received.
S:
As a teen I was in a monogamous long term relationship with a partner who was wonderfully informed and open about sex. I thought myself responsible and informed as well and when, a year and a half into our relationship, we decided to start having sex, I went about arranging all the necessary precautions.
I set up an appointment with an ob-gyn with the help of my mom, went on hormonal birth control, bought ultra-lubed condoms and extra lube. We were extra cautious and careful thanks to my supportive mom and a wealth of careful internet research (and no thanks to our abstinence-focused school sex-ed program). In retrospect, I’m incredibly pleased and impressed with my young self and my ex-boyfriend. However I would like to reach back in time and redefine my definition of sex. At the time I thought the only sex needing contraception and protection was penis-in-vagina. It turns out that as I define sex now, I had been sexually active for quite some time before I took all those necessary precautions.
