Written by Guest on 11.17.2011 | 2 Comments
This post is about books and stories that help us to understand life, but that might not be so easy to digest. I remember falling in love with reading when I encountered my favorite author, Tom Robbins, in my teens. I wonder what my parents would have thought if they had snatched Another Roadside Attraction out of my hands as I was devouring it at age 16.
I want to share with you this lovely story, telling of fertility and the cycle of life. Connecting a trip to Babeland and (a big Dildo!) in a Sherman Alexie story. Along with some other big dildo magic.
“For those of us who were not immaculately conceived, we need sex to have babies. And we need a lot of laughter to survive pregnancy and parenting in a healthy state of mind.”
My story of stories is actually about another Sherman Alexie book: The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian. I knew of Sherman Alexie from school in Arizona, reading Reservation Blues seems almost like a lifetime ago. Read the full post »
Written by Guest on 11.2.2011 | No Comments
For some reason, mothering and guilt seem to go hand in hand. While guilt is helpful sometimes to let us know when things in our life are out of whack, women, particularly mothers, often take it too far. Thanks in large part to unrealistic societal expectations, these days mothers have guilt about so much. About working…or not working. For taking time for yourselves,…or not taking enough time for yourselves. For not wanting sex…or wanting it too much. Shoot, some mothers feel guilty about feeling guilty! The problem is that guilt and sexy feelings just don’t mix. So whether you’re feeling guilty because you want to do something really FREAKY in the sack, or because you’d rather sack out, it’s time to take a breath and LET IT GO… guilt free. Here’s a word we want you to use at least once a day: “No.” As in, “No, I can’t do that favor for you,” or “No, that won’t work” or even, “No, I don’t want to make love tonight.” It’s okay, it won’t kill anyone. But learning to say no just might help you to say yes to other good stuff in life. Including more sex.
Excerpted From Love in the Time of Colic: The New Parents’ Guide to Getting it on Again (Collins, 2009) By Ian Kerner, Ph.D, author of She Comes First and Passionista, and Heidi Raykeil, author of Confessions of a Naughty Mommy: How I Found My Lost Libido
Written by Guest on 10.30.2011 | No Comments
It’s easy to think that your child is too young for a discussion about sexuality. But the continuous flow of information through the media makes it likely that your children are regularly exposed to messages about sexuality, even if they don’t exactly understand what they’re seeing and hearing. By using language they understand you can begin to explain sexuality in ways that are appropriate for their age.
This may seem like an advanced topic to discuss with babies and toddlers, but as their main teachers it’s important for parents and caregivers to help them develop a healthy attitude toward sexuality. For children up to age two you can begin by naming all the parts of their bodies, teaching them that their entire body is natural and healthy. (“This is your arm.This is your elbow.This is your vulva/penis.This is your knee.”) By reacting calmly when they touch their genitals, you are teaching them that sexual feelings are normal and healthy. By holding them, hugging them, talking with them, and responding to their needs, you are laying the groundwork for trust and open discussions as they grow up. Read the full post »
Written by Guest on 10.18.2011 | 4 Comments
Does anyone else remember when Michelle and Barack were caught on film fist bumping, and the media called it fisting? That was hilarious wasn’t it!? For those of us who know a little bit about this elusive sexual practice the whole charade brought sly smiles and chuckles. And made us wonder, could the president and the first lady actually be into fisting? Honestly, it is none of our business and more power to them if they are.
A few people who know quite a bit about the sexy art of fisting are on a mission to demystify the practice and bring it out of the bedroom and into porn. I mean everything else happens in porn, why would this common practice among lesbian, straight, gay and all other kinds of lovers be left out of the mix?
If Courtney Trouble and Jiz Lee have their way we will be seeing some of this super intense and satisfying practice in porn soon. They have declared October 21st ‘Fisting Day’ and they would like us to join in celebrating the act of fisting in hopes to give it the legitimacy and place in the porn of our future that it so rightly deserves. Read the full post »
Written by Guest on 10.10.2011 | 2 Comments
As a sex educator at one of Babeland’s NYC stores, I’ve been fortunate enough to get to learn about so many aspects of sexuality, from sexual health to pleasure and everything in between. I’ve definitely learned a lot more from my experience here than anything I was ever taught about sex in school. The topics we at Babeland share with customers on the sales floor and in our workshops, like anatomy, communication skills and personal confidence, are essential to a healthy sexual life.
Yet sex education in schools is still whack! It remains poor to nonexistent. Abstinence lessons are the equivalent of letting kids “learn it on the street”—being in denial about young peoples’ sexuality can encourage misinformation, poor choices and, well, bad sex lives as adults. I desperately want to help bring better sex ed to confused and horny teenagers. If I could teach sex ed in schools, this would be my lesson plan:
- Your body is yours, and your body is meant to be good to you. Get to know it. (Pass around hand mirrors and speculums for at-home exploration). Read the full post »
Written by Guest on 8.26.2011 | No Comments
“Thanks baby, for making me a MILF!“
At its core, Becoming MILF is an art exhibit about identity that navigates issues of motherhood and sex in an attempt to reclaim the word MILF to encompass a woman’s transformation into their post-partum sexual identity. It is a snap shot of the visual and sculptural manifestation of the first several weeks of motherhood.
Artist Statement – Madison Young Becoming MILF
Speaking of being or becoming a MILF, no one said it was easy. As many of you may know, and I know because I saw this bomb explode on twitter one afternoon last week, this happened (@Furrygirl, sex worker and sex worker’s rights champion, talked some pretty disparaging shit about @madisonyoung, sex worker and mother, and SF feminists/sex-workers/mothers/queers in general.) Online media took notice. Read the full post »
Written by Guest on 8.19.2011 | No Comments
I had the amazing opportunity to attend Blogher11, a conference of women bloggers from all over the world, held August 4-6 in San Diego. I’m excited to share with you some of the highlights, including throwing a little shindig with the help of Sandy, social networking and sex information goddess extraordinaire, from toywithme.com. Sandy inspired this entire adventure,which started off with a party at the Lounge SD (see our tempting invite).
The Party
When our guests arrived, Sandy told them all about the raffle and the toys we had to give away, while I greeted them with fruit, pretzels and Babeland’s Edible Body Chocolate. We had a great group of about 50 women from all realms of blogging, all excited to discover Babeland. You could say we kicked off the conference with a buzz!
We played a penis candy necklace eating game, gave away a some awesome swag and prizes and talked a lot about sex blogging and what Babeland has to offer. The tweeting – instagraming – social networking goddesses at the party even gave us our own hash tag #makedildosnotwar based on the Tantus buttons that we passed out: Read the full post »
Written by Guest on 8.12.2011 | 1 Comment
I woke up at five in the morning to my three-year-old daughter’s foot in my scapula. She found the exact spot where I am in the most pain. Tension. The awareness of morning crept in. My low back was aching. It felt like three in the morning, but with all the wiggling, I cannot sleep, and, finally, I am just awake. Gosh, she wiggles. My lower back, particularly on the left side, has been gnawing in dull throbs of pain. My neck is tight to the point of cutting off circulation to my left hand, and my entire body is twisted into some weird contortion. I wonder why I ever insisted on attachment parenting. I could never put any one of my three children to bed in another room, or allow them to (horror!) “cry it out”. Read the full post »
Written by Guest on 8.8.2011 | No Comments
In order to illustrate the importance of sex education (and on behalf of SIECUS our fundraising recipient this month), we asked our staff to contribute stories or anecdotes about their own sexual awakening or what kind of sex education they received.
B writes:
I remember getting my first condom demonstration in school. I was 17 and I had Mr. Brown as my health teacher. He was my high school’s baseball coach and a gym teacher. We actually had a demonstration from a Planned Parenthood representative. We were taught about all types of birth control from abstinence to Implanon. Even though we had condoms to pass around they still weren’t allowed to show us how to put an actual condom on. Mr. Brown rolled up a sock in a very condom-like maker and put it over his fist. He even made sure to show us to pinch the tip.
Written by Guest on 8.4.2011 | No Comments
In order to illustrate the importance of sex education (and on behalf of SIECUS our fundraising recipient this month), we asked our staff to contribute stories or anecdotes about their own sexual awakening or what kind of sex education they received.
S:
As a teen I was in a monogamous long term relationship with a partner who was wonderfully informed and open about sex. I thought myself responsible and informed as well and when, a year and a half into our relationship, we decided to start having sex, I went about arranging all the necessary precautions.
I set up an appointment with an ob-gyn with the help of my mom, went on hormonal birth control, bought ultra-lubed condoms and extra lube. We were extra cautious and careful thanks to my supportive mom and a wealth of careful internet research (and no thanks to our abstinence-focused school sex-ed program). In retrospect, I’m incredibly pleased and impressed with my young self and my ex-boyfriend. However I would like to reach back in time and redefine my definition of sex. At the time I thought the only sex needing contraception and protection was penis-in-vagina. It turns out that as I define sex now, I had been sexually active for quite some time before I took all those necessary precautions.
